what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
I'm way to drunk for this play. I'm about to run up on stage and drop the main character
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
She just told me her legs are numb and that she dedicated her karaoke of ice ice baby to her 4 month old son.
Just thought i'd let you guys know that my dad was roofied at a lesbian bar last night...
She asked if i could guess "what shape her carpet was". I got it wrong (christmas tree).
Last night you found an onion ring in your fries and then you started singing "A Moment like this"
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
In my defense I didn't know there was concrete on the other side of that fence when I tossed him over it.
You're both fucking idiots and this is why I should never let you two drink alone.
Stop recording sex noises and setting them as my ringtones. This time it was at a funeral
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
Randomize