but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
Either there is a god and he hates masturbation, or one of my roommates stole my vibrator while I was in the shower.
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
Matt just ate a burger out of the trash can in front of the McDonalds. We need to have a serious talk about his drinking.
Celebrating landing my dream job by watching zombie movies and drinking free booze in the bath. I'm like 90% sure I just won life.
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
40 year old guy made out with me last night while I had French fries in my mouth
I'm happy I peed in your laundry basket last night
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
I'm not kidding, he literally jumped in the red panda exhibit. I knew this was gonna be a good birthday.
I FLASHED A GUY AT MCDONALDS FOR A FREE BREAKFAST BURRITO. IT WORKED!
Randomize
