Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
Highlight of my evening, pile of books falling onto me in front of people
not allowed to tweet this cos she's following me but i definitely just got head in a stairwell of the university of chicago. wanted you all to know.
You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
The bar I'm at just passed out smores to everyone. I don't know what it has to do with cinco de mayo but I'm down.
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
I would explain the ketchup stains in the bed to him but saying I just got my period is so much less embarrassing...
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
I think I just wanna go buy some jack at the liquor store, come home, take my pants off, and not give a shit about stuff
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
Ok. I'm gonna smoke some weed and look at some elephants without you then.
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
Randomize
