Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
Only way we know if he truly fits in is if we spill straight vodka on the floor and his first instinctnis to lick it up. Otherwise, gameover.
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
We're gonna have screwdrivers in a cab at 4am?
Is that weird?
How bad is it that I'm banned from all of your family functions due to sleeping w/ both your brother and sister and they both hate me for pursing a relationship with either of them.
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
there must be tiny pirates in the freezer stealing our rum.
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
Randomize
