OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
coming out of a blackout being surrounded by Disney police was not as awesome as it sounds.
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
I left a care package of Jack Daniel's, pancake mix and porn in your apartment. Merry fucking Christmas.
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
I feel like the only way to get him to stop is by telling him i'm tired from fucking our other friend every night this week
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
I think John will remember that birthday for a while. I'm still dying at the fact a stripper was hunting me down.
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
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