I knocked on some strangers door, you didn't have to give me a fake hotel room number
We had sex on the first date...do you think he thinks I'm a whore?
Yes and so do I
im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
It was at that moment that I realized I was alone. Alone and drunk on an Epcot ride.
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
My autobiography is now tentatively titled "I'm Fucking the DJ, and Other Ways to Party for Cheap"
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
We were hunting our best friend with a BB gun in the backyard. I'd say the vaporizer was a worthy investment at this point.
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
I just want you to make me second guess my worth as a human. Is that too much to ask?
He's just been a dick since he set his face on fire. I just wanted to eat a fucking hot dog.
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
I know her cup size but not her name....
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