so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
I just rolled a joint with a page from On The Road by Kerouac. I have never felt like more of a hipster.
So bad news they put a private property sign on the tiger.
Until they install cameras or armed security i'll ride the fuck out of that jungle cat.
Reason #1 for no sex outdoors: Mosquito bites. Awkward, awkward mosquito bites.
You just kept yelling at the cabby "I own this cab" and insisted on smoking with all the windows up
You got in the cab and told the cab driver "we only have seven bucks so you better drive fucking fast".
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
I bought 10 disposable adhesive bras and duct tape. If Home Depot can't help my breasts defy gravity, nothing will...
LMAO
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
I just did my taxes to sober up, I'm THAT hungover
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
I WILL KICK YOU IN THE FUCKING THROAT IF YOU EAT MY FUCKING ICE CREAM.
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
Randomize
