Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
Hate sex is AWESOME! I faked it, and when she fell asleep i came in her purse.
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
someone lit off fireworks while I puked in the street. I was like congratulating me for making it through homecoming.
There r osticjed everywhere
The blackout version of me left a ransom note to the sober self. Somebody needs to control that guy
Tried to figure out where I was without opening my eyes this morning for like twenty minutes. Not even close. Not even the right state.
She actually was beyond drunk but she for some reason kept calling herself a demigod and made me drive her to a bookstore
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
Sorry about the picture of wills balls via snapchat last night btw
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
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