dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
Turned in a paper today on drug abuse. Chose to write about percocet. Just realized I started 2 sentences with "This amazing drug"
Tell me why Im cashing out of Walmart with Smirnoff and catfood
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
When did you hit me on the head with a stool?
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
Reading my bank statement stoned makes me feel like an adult.
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
Hey. It's Michael. The guy that had his tongue in your mouth last night. Just wanted to check in with you.
Does your balding hurt less when a 19 year old holds your hand?
the most terrified I've ever been was seeing Danny Devito squirming on the ground in this underwear, covered in hand sanitizer, completely hairless
Randomize
