is it bad that i shorted Freddie Mac immediatly after I heard about the CFO?
my facebook friend requests are always from girls of boyfriends i have fucked, facebook is the worst reminder of shame
I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
Goats are brash and offensive and cocky animals
Are you high and at a petting zoo again?
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
It's amazing I mean I blew that senator just for him to deny me marriage.... Politics suck and he swallowed!
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
You still owe me one bodily function mess clean up.
You pee on the floor one time and you never hear the end of it...
Don't ask but i need a priest, a calzone, a litre of gravy, and exactly 7 oreos
And a bag of nachos
So he called his lawyer from the bar to confirm the cost of hitting the douchebag before flooring him. I respect his planning skills.
Randomize
