No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
He just asked if I would make his black snake moan. Dating basketball players is not worth the glory
about 90% sure I fell off a roof. It hurts BAD. Don't suppose you're still in town?
yup haha I infact DID fall off a roof. Want some bomb ass omlettes?
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
Multiple bruises and a hell of a headache later, I have still to find out where the fuck I picked up the bottom half of a mannequin.
Bro, did you watch that scooby doo porn I sent to you?
I love you. We're gonna celebrate your 21st by putting people in duct tape bikinis and pushing them down tequila slip and slides
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
I think I ripped my underwear last night doing drunk squats
My dick has a subreddit
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
Doing coke by yourself isn't as fun. Even when you're watching a James Franco movie.
soo... how was my night?
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
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