The guy I fucked in the port a poty just called me and asked me on a date!
Awkward!
No he was cute and I said yes!
I was just tapping my foot in the bathroom at Penn Station just PRAYING for anonymous sex. You know how that goes.
if she mentions anything about chili and my phone, just go with it
All I wanted was a "this is what America feels like" blowjob before I left. Is that too much to ask for?
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
I totally left my shirt at your house. Also I think I high fived your cactus last night
We're over by the bouncy castles. I'm the one wearing a baby. Bring Twizzlers.
Apparently I yelled "Spring Break 1984" at a drunk couple fighting on the side of the road.
Never thought going to McDonald's alone at 3 AM would end with a blowjob outside some random girl's apartment...
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
I gave him morning sex, a bag of cookies, and dropped him off at work. I believe I deserve the "best hookup award."
IF I CANT STRIP TO SANTA BABY THEN WHY EVEN HAVE CHRISTMAS.
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
Randomize
