I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
I think we were cool up until the point where he saw that planned parenthood was on my speed dial.
I'm in the line at the airport trying not to vomit on the person in front of me. Happy Tuesday.
something had to give and with her weight the coffee table never stood a chance
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
I was just handed a bible on my walk of shame....are you there god? its tequila tuesday's hangover
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
My vagina needs a break, I had to ice it with a beer bottle last night.
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
Okay, I just reached peak living alone
I ate a piece of chocolate cake while jerking off
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
Remember the random guy who licked my face when we were at the bar the other night?
Yeah. His name is Andrew. We just met
Security showed up because apparently we were fucking too loud.
As your roommate I can attest that y'all do indeed fuck rather loudly
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