I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
For some reason I knew you were going to smell like strippers and burritos when I hugged you.
sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
TO ALL WHO WERE IN MY HOUSE LAST NIGHT: WHOEVER STOLE MY BONG AND PUT IT ON THE ROOF WILL BE PAYING MY HOSPITAL BILL FROM LAST NIGHT.. AND BUYING ME A NEW, SWEETER BONG.
Well sorry I accidentally spooned your mom and possibly threw up on you
Ps we ordered a pizza at the pool today and I dropped the entire thing in the pool. We still ate it. #canthang
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
Know what the best part of waking up for work after a drinking vacation is? It's an easy question. Nothing. Nothing is the best part of that.
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
You burped in your shoe and whispered 'you're mine now'
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
Randomize
