i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
Talking to this girl is like playing minesweeper on hard. There's red flags everywhere.
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
Sundays have taken on a whole new meaning when I'm not in bed with an excruciating hangover.
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
Just think about how many life skills I lack. Cooking... Driving... Sobriety...
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
Some guy wearing a horse mask just knocked on my door and started whinnying. I opened the door and he was like, "...oh sorry, wrong room..." so awk.
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
It says a lot about the way my life is going right now that 'there's no shit in your house' is fucking good news.
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
Turns out he's actually a she. Might keep dating her just to see Mom's reaction.
I may or may not have tried to give myself a lobotomy
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
Randomize
