she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
You know your in college when you use the receipt from the liquor store as a bookmark
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
You were doing downward dog and puking off my deck at the same time.
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
Btw, you're my emergency contact at Planned Parenthood
Oh my lord it is too early in the morning to be that horny freak
my vagina doesn't wear a watch
I have to drop off my inflatable penis costume at the bar for my bartender. Do you think you could meet me there at like 630?
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
Last year you twerked on my Christmas tree and threw up all over the bathroom...in front of my parents. We should probably keep power hour to ONLY an hour this year
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
New one isn't as good asmy ex. She won't put her tongue up my butt
Peter this is your "ex"
I stand by what i said
Randomize
