I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
just had an awkward elevator run in with that guy you puked on
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
All i want to do is drink fuck and cry... you dont have to cater all three its more like the saddest choose your own adventure ever
I can't answer my phone I'm at work
I slept with a male stripper last night. Priorities
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
I'll check it out in the morning. Tonight has been reserved for getting baked and covering myself in kittens because THAT IS AN OPTION.
Just so you know, classy bitches change the morning after in a CVS bathroom.
My heart is swelling with pride right now. I fucking love you.
I'm now having weird sexual fantasies about that riverdancing figure skater. So thanks for that.
I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
someone stole all your weed so you told us you were planning each of our deaths
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
Randomize
