i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
Ok, Jen and I are going out tonight and getting rowdy. I think you and Steph need to come. I understand if you can't, but not going out means you're automatically obligated to post bail. If necessary.
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
I feel like I should remember what we did after leaving the party because apparently a llama was involved, but all I can manage is the part where I asked you to cuff my ankle to the bed so I wouldn't backflip away.
I have an ideal penis or slightly above ideal penis in every country that isn't ruined by the specter of communism
Did I tell you he put a lobster carcass on his dick?
I am far too sober to understand you right now. sorry.
Hey I know we haven't talked in a while, but I wanted to thank you for those m&ms you bought me for Christmas. Sorry I never got you anything then broke up with you.
I totally fucked your pastor last night.
You're his wife.
Still a dirty get down.
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