What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
You were so high at Ikea last night that you were convinced you could speak Swedish. The whole the time you were our navigator and when we got to the cashier you were hitting on the lady. When she gave you her number you told her you were saving her number as Inglfurfta cuaue she must be swedish since she works there.
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
I'm going to knit you a pair of furry handcuffs. And you said that knitting class was dumb.
thanks for the 52 voicemails of you and crystal reciting the pleg of allegance
ok is that genuinely the first four bars of mozart's symphony #40 sharpied onto my arm or
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
tell me you did not just describe yourself as "hot and bothered"
I feel like there should be a 'roommate information section' of the paperwork when there's a chance you'll be given pain killers.
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
The girl at the liquor store remembered me as "the girl who pays in hundreds" so she didn't ID me
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
Randomize