my dad came in to wish me a happy birthday and found me passed out in my underwear with the lights on and a plate of meat on the bed. i bet he was proud to have contributed to my creation in that moment.
Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
It was the most graceful puke ever. I just thought she dropped something underneath the bar until she told me what happened.
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
Was I really yelling "girls night" at random chicks before stealing and drinking all their shots?
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
You were sitting in the tub, clothed, squirting my KY all over yourself. You said "it's warm." then passed out.
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
We have so much sex to catch up on
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
Why exactly is there a butt plug on the counter?
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
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