You can tell a man will be prosperous by the power of his farts- A fart that can shake the room is a voice that can change the world.
And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
I was speaking french the whole night. Until i got arrested. Then I decided I should probably start speaking English.
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
You kept apologizing for not offering me some of your Whisky, which you referred to as "Jesus Nectar".
I just threw out a whole Christmas ham, 12 positive pregnancy tests, 3 empty vodka bottles and by ex boyfriends Latina porn collection in the same garbage bag. The homeless person who goes through the bins tonight knows I have nothing left to loose.
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
Part of me was thinking I should go old school and get a chasity belt before the semester starts. Really lock that shit down. But then I thought, fuck that. I'm going to hit that campus like an f5 whorenado
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
I think I gotta smoke less weed, I'm getting to lazy to fuck my girlfriend
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