you kept begging me not to tell anyone you had been a bat in another life
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
If I don't have carpet burn in the morning you aren't trying hard enough.
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
Update- I sold my hat to some drunk kid for 50 bucks. I used my earnings to buy beer on the way home. I realize to everyone else seeing me drinking on my balcony at 6am, I look like an alcoholic, but I'm thinking of it as a night cap
Hypothetical question. Say I was bleeding profusely, close to your house, and needed a place to go to clean up and perform minor surgery on myself. Like now.
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
Plus my fingers were hella swollen from eating all these cured meats so it was like I was given it to her with Hulk Hands on
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
If he knew how badly I want to blow him he’d stop talking about his wife
Randomize
