There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
Oh, and she's that dumb bitch that goes out in public in full make up and sweats with uggs. I hope she falls face first in a bowl of queso and drowns
I'll be on pinterest all night planning crafty things to do with my cats in 10 years.
doing an easter egg hunt in a liquor store right now. i feel so adult
Apparently last night I yelled "the cops were called on a mother fucker and that mother fucker is me." And then proceeded to exorcise a sandwitch.
Jesus christ. I put you on speaker when you called me last night and you told me to brush my teeth with a dick.
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
And then he peed in my hair
He wouldn’t know a good thing if it bit him on the ass. Which, btw, I did.
If the multiverse is real, would you screw yourself? I'd screw myself.
Randomize
