She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
she kept yelling 'call me bella'
you told me your penis was albino and it couldnt be exposed to light so you needed to keep it in me
Just got a birthday card from Camel. How am I supposed to stop smoking when they care?
Honestly, I don't care if the only reason she gave me her beer was because she was bisexual and wanted to touch my vagina. Beer is beer.
Legit I think I might have gotten hepatitis C from licking the window of that last cab.
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
The moment you ate chicken nuggets out of your purse you were my hero.
Where the hell did i get chicken nuggets from
You should fuck with them and beat off in the cup and then walk out an be like, "This was a sperm donation right?"
She was mad I came so fast. I was like, It's the Olympics! Fastest time wins! We can train you in the offseason.
I don't think it's food poisoning, I think it's cause you cooked it over burning styrofoam
He lit a candle for the mood and ended up lighting my hair on fire while we were hooking up...moodkiller
Lol for real, I'm Kylie Jenner "this is my year of realizing things" right now
WE JUST PASSED A FUCKING SPACE SHIP! NOT JOKING! A REAL FUCKING SPACE SHIP! THIS IS NOT THE DRUGS! SPACE! SHIP!
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
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