He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
I brought him flowers on my way home from cheating on him. Boyfriend of the year award right here.
He wouldn't let me leave his house until he made me orgasm once for every year I've been alive. The birthday sex song did not prepare me for this.
Oh you have the munchies, Dad? That's great and congratulations on the weed but STOP EATING MY APPLE PIE
His baby mama found the pictures of us, she couldn't see my face but she could see my asshole. So I'm safe.
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
Drunk him got in a fight with his wife he literally bought a plane ticket and flew to Hawaii. He just called me and asked why I let it happen. From Hawaii hahaha.
I woke up to Dragon Ball Z playing in Portuguese and a donut shish-kebab~ed on a dick in my face.
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
I haven't been drunk for four days and just realized I haven't taken a shit for three. This can't be healthy.
Which part?
It's not christmas until we're acting sober in front of grandma
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
Randomize
