no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
May have finally hit rock bottom...bouncer from the strip club informed me I wore the same shirt last night
I think i just called up my ex and talked to her for 20 minutes about frogs and how happy i am to be wearing shorts
When she e-mailed me back asking for proof, complete with hospital intake records, I just told her it was a home-birth. I'm prepared to take the fail.
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
I wish they'd wear their tampons on the outside. At least gimme some warning
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
pls come over. need ride to hospital once taquitos are ready
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
You still owe me one bodily function mess clean up.
You pee on the floor one time and you never hear the end of it...
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
All I know is I woke up in the back seat of my car, with the engine on, and my gps navigated to florida.
Randomize
