I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
Signed everyone in my dorm up for free samples of astroglyde. Took me an hour. Happy new years!!!!!
He cooked me dinner. I showed my appreciation by showing up shithoused and breaking a bottle of steak sauce on his floor.
He was making tequila spiked Arnold Palmers and murmuring things in Spanish.
I love foreign exchange students.
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
Who's nuvaring is under my pillow?
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
theres chocolate ground into my couch, nerds candy all over the floor and cocaine on every surface. great memorial day weekend and yours?
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
When you're a bigshot ER surgeon and I'm a starving artist, I want you to remember who held your hair last night.
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
I just want to hook up with Ed Sheeran. Why does it have to be so difficult?
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