I'm pounding a vodka drink as we speak to make her interesting
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
I've had more sex in the two weeks since we broke up than I ever had in any two weeks we were together.
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
She said she wouldn't get out of hand. When the cops showed up she jumped off the 4ft high porch and fell into a ditch. She then buried herself because she was wearing light pants and though the light from the cops flashlights would reflect off her pants. We couldn't find her for 40 minutes.
I don't know what part of my sober brain thought it was a good idea to get stoned when I can barely walk with crutches as it is, but that part is stupid.
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
I'm at the back whiskey bar with a 7 and 7 in a winnie the pooh costume. Come find me.
you told me I was being patronizing because I didn't want you to run barefoot across a construction site
I'm sorry that you wanted to get laid and I all I did was play with your new cat instead.
This is why I can't take dates to shows... I've literally made out with everyone in this band. And two of the guys in the crowd. And the bartender.
Randomize
