Some dude at the gas station right now is buying a 30 rack of beast and a can of cat food. Happy Thanksgiving.
Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
I've got mace and a condom. Ready to roll either way and keeping my pimp hand strong.
You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
There was a time I was reining queen of Sunday funday... And at that same time I also weighed 20 pounds more, had the morale of a spearmint rhino stripper, and woke up most mornings asking more questions than fucking Barbara Walters. I think I just wrote my own epitaph.
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
How is it that 364 days a year I'm the adult, but on Halloween you completely forget how to have fun and become my grandma?
YOU ARE THE ONLY PERSON I KNOW THAT STEALTH CLEANS PEOPLE TOILETS
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