My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
We got blackout for the alumni dinner, and then walked THROUGH the keynote speaker, managing to still say "excuse me".
the bouncer made me realize that puking in line does not get you in any faster
I just woke up at my desk with "To Whommmmmmmmm" typed on a letter. I have no memory of waking up, getting dressed or driving in.
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
Hey man thanks for carrying me in and out of that frat house. There's no I in team.
Going to rent a magician for when I eat shrooms. How has no one thought of this?
If you wake up soonish don't worry. I took your dog to burger king and now we're going to see some nice girls.
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
My glasses were in the garbage this morning
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
I legit just swiped right with a Tinder feminist just to get in an argument with her. Soo that's my Friday night so far...
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
Dude we were sitting at my place stoned as fuk then someone knocks on the door and it was my neighbor giving me a huge box of cookie dough. Magic of weed.
Randomize
