When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
currently pooping in a public restroom while drinking free beer. there has never been a finer line between awesome and depressing.
What's the sex policy on a school bus? Because I dibs back seat.
Sex allowed. Dress code is neon and obnoxious.
We are gonna die. I wanna enforce the "no jumping out of moving vehicles" policy. And how are we gonna get a school bus through mcdonalds drive thru?
God I hope the gutter I die in is nice. You know, for a gutter.
Do you know anyone with a stuffed cougar? I want one for a self portrait to hang in my house. A bobcat or lynx might work too.
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?"
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
Have you ever had to act sober and talk to an authority figure in a coconut bra? Because it is just as degrading as you would imagine.
No we didn't fuck. He picked me up I asked where we were going and he said "I don't know if you've ever heard of a little place called Denny's?" He was completely serious. I told him to stop the car and I got out and called Jack.
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
Randomize
