you used to get mad at me for mentioning 'unprotected sex' and happenings in my bed
well yeah, but then i realized the wisdom of your ways.
Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
the pizza man had no reaction when jackie and me opened the door naked, i guess he's used to that shit
Captain Phil from deadliest catch died... im trying to think of a memorial fb status but "ill miss your crabs" doesnt sound right
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
I think I just need to get a pillow shaped like a toilet seat.
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
It gave me the St Patrick's Day nickname Slutty McShitfaced. I've never felt so understood.
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
I've been continuously high for the last 48 hours, and just broke my 4th vibrator. Coincidence? FIND ME A MAN I BEG OF YOU.
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
Maybe it’s too soon to casually tell the boss that I went to Tulsa for some dick last night
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
Randomize
