he saw my "i like bacon" magnet on the fridge and i told him how much i love meat, then we started making out
what a beautiful fairy tale
i am so afraid to go to the bathroom. i am afraid i am going to fall asleep on the toillet.
Special does not even begin to describe that text.
Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
Watching Argentina vs Germany during a wedding on an iPhone. Thank you Steve Jobs.
I was just walking down the hall and passed a very pregnant girl wearing a shirt that said "blame it on the aaaaaa-alcohol." I can't decide if she's brilliantly witty or just pointing fingers.
I woke up this morning peeing out bubbles . I smell like baby wash . What the hell happened .
He managed to tell me he was blind in one eye and convince me to have sex with him in the same conversation. It's love.
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
I can't figure out if I'm dying from all of the booze still in my system, or from the cement wall.
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
Oh. My. God. Dad smoked a bowl. He's been playing cards...I just told a story and when I was done, he got really close to my face and very seriously asked me if he had cheese in his beard. I'm about to die.
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
Life update - currently drunk off my ass in the yoga room of SFO at 5:30 in the morning.
My hand smells like rave and peanut butter.
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
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