Eric just called. Says he's trapped in a cul de sac because the road disappeared. Wants me to tell him what street has the bushes that whisper sweet nothings into you ear and the wobbling purple pokemon. Oh, and a "bigger and better" penis is growing out of his belly button. He took shrooms by the way.
dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
You know why I moved here? No public intoxication law. A cop just helped me from my bent over vomit pose, asked if I was ok, and gave me a ride home.
Those foam number one hands, are the BEST socks.
She barfed in the corner of the baby pool. Then she yelled "it's okay" repeatedly while trying to scoop it out.
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
Too many penises have met your hands. Stop or die.
I woke up in my living room, on the floor, wearing nothing but a fur coat?
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
please remind me of this if i ever start out a night declaring my goal is to see how much american honey it takes for me to forget who i am again
They both showed up at the same time... to surprise me. One had flowers and the other had chocolates. Needless to say, I will be at the bar all weekend long trying to figure out how this happens.
Randomize
