is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
bitch so ugly she owes me an erection
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
I just want to apologize for screaming when I saw you the other day. It's just that you looked really gross and I was high.
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
My glasses are somewhere in your living room. Also, my underwear might be in your bathroom or on or around your porch. Sorry.
It's hard to take you serious when you're crying your eyes out wearing an adult sized onesie.
I've decided I'm gonna attack people with the toilet plunger.
Girl at work pointed out that the blood vessels around my eyes were all popped and I smell like puke
Who was the girl that woke me up at 4am to tell me "there's an emergency, we need you to come smoke weed"
Remember that time you gave me a fat lip with your vag? We should do that again!
This is my life. Enjoy the view
I was at a crossroads, dude. Like, do I wanna eat chicken McNuggets or talk about my feelings?
i like beer, sex, and cooking. what more can he want?
Randomize
