he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
He literally had a note from his doctor saying he wasn't allowed to finger me for a week
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
the bruises from climbing out of the window last night make sitting at my desk impossible. legit excuse to not study right?
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
I miss using glorious as an adjective. I'm gonna start doing that again. And I'm gonna try to get cuntatrosphe in there some more, too.
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
I have an important idea to tell you when I'm sober about a cat scratching my nose once and what it taught me. DONT LET ME FORGET.
He left weed in my bong for me this morning. What a guy.
Jeff brought me a cup of coffee to my desk. He's getting a blow job.
Our friendship just got weirder. He snapchated me the porn he was watching.
you said you were going to the bathroom. we found you an hour later laying in the backyard clutching a bottle of vodka while singing the beatles and crying
Randomize
