when you close your eyes do you see, that mystical creature will be me.
who is this?
Just got walked in on during safety inspections
Think you passed?
Dude idk, apparently telling two drunk chicks 'that's whats up' after watching them lick eachother's face wasn't the compliment they were looking for. I mean I was fucking hammered.
Wow.
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
Two people confessed their love to me last night. Drunk is a good color on me
Me: 10% human, 90% poor drunken life choices.
We had sex in his hot tub. Then we saved a mouse that almost drown in his pool. We celebrated our heroism with more sex.
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
I love when my neighbors have passionate, loud sex to remind me that I'm not getting laid
Idk if I deserve a medal or a one way ticket to hell
i have officially smoked myself stupid. went to wally world to buy soap and toothpaste but got 4 potpies and 2 dessert pies instead. fail.
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize