HIV tests are more positive than that guy
Is there any way to un-invite somebody to a wedding? I just checked out the other family, and I can't have a cockblock there.
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
i distinctly remember leaping through the apartment to rescue the clam chowder burning in the kitchen
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
He got drunk and insisted on licking my eyeball and called it a test of my trust in him.
Well... first you killed the girls goldfish, then you shoved her face in your armpit, made her cry, got kicked out, ate your cigarettes, and passed out in her driveway. Pretty successful night if you ask me
I just held a marble with my kegel muscles for 5 min. You may call me COCKCLAMP 9000!!!!
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
She referred to my balls as rotund and handsome
It's gonna be like a sexual version of A Christmas Carol in my house in a few days.
Oh you mean the girl that gave me a black eye when I told her I liked her fake eyelashes?
you were huddled over the toilet, throwing up, and every few seconds you'd look up and say "this is such a waste of vodka" then put your head back down and start puking again
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
Randomize
