Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
I love how you send me nude pics of girls you're fucking and name them by which city they're in instead of their name. "This is Nashville, this is Tupelo, this is Jackson..."
I can't wait until next week, when I find out what drunk me added to the Netflix queue.
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
I'm about to have a threesome at the hotel where I had my quinceañera. Becoming a woman under this roof for the second time, whaaat
Dude my doctor just legit got down on her knees and loudly begged me to do my pap smear
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
Oh damn it. Let me get a beer. I can't take anymore bad news. Hold on.
Usually it's tequila, or vodka. But today was just the devil
Dude they are making elephants out of dollar bills. I'm way too high for this
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