I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
I just scrubbed chocolate off the bathtub... You better have had a damn good birthday
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
It's like the bat signal. He only texts me when I'm naked.
drunk and crying about Shakespeare- how's your night?
we panicked because we couldn't find you anywhere, but then we found you tripping in the bathtub with Marie's cat. there was no water. you thought there was water, though.
sober me thinks like you do. drunk me needs sober me's advice. am i allowed to go to his house?
I just put on my bra while peeing. I fear this will be my big achievement of the day.
Fuck. I think I can already feel tomorrow's hangover. It's like future me cane back to warn present me about the impending doom but didn't turn the time dial back far enough.
Randomize
