I am slurping my drink like I am going to the electric chair
how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
Pretty sure I just became the first person ever to use the word "boner" in a wedding card...
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
Given my current decline of critical thinking and capacity for speech it's probably best u call the cops
Cuz last time you told me I was going to be shocked about something you got a hand job from a stripper in canada
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
We're going to catch a squirrel this summer
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
I solemnly swear I will not get your boyfriend puke in public drunk again
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
Hey, if a dude can't randomly belt out Whitney Houston tunes from time to time, is life really worth living??
excused from jury duty. THAT hungover...
Randomize
