hey, here's something you don't have worry about since you're a girl: finding crusty cum in your bellybutton.
A good Q tip ear swabbing is better than bad sex.
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
SHE SITS THERE LIKE A DICK LIKE AN ACTUAL DICK JUST LIMP AND DUMB AND BLAH
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
wow thanks for pushing me towards an older man
you gotta start somewhere if you're going to be a trophy wife
He was having this drunk emotional breakdown and I was just trying to cheer him up but instead fell and dumped the whole pickle jar on me
It was cool though because he was fine afterwards and somehow I convinced them I did it on purpose...
I made a joke about The Hemingway being a really boring sex position where you blandly describe all the action and then kill yourself after you orgasm. He stopped responding. I've GOT to stop talking to everyone like they're you.
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
Just saw 4 of my students at Denny's at 4am on a Tuesday. We all pretended not to see each other, as we are all clearly tipsy and/or stoned. Class is in less than 4 hours. Either i'm getting too old for this shit or they're starting on the road to crazy-town much earlier these days.
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