You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
Everyone at work loved my story about sobering up in a river with no bra on.
Omg I'm puking right now and then sneezed four times in a row. You don't know pain til this happens to you.
why is there a chinchilla in our apartment, and where did it come from?
question nothing. DON'T QUESTION A FREE CHINCHILLA.
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
I had 17 beers 2 days ago. I'm not dad material yet
I know it was your bday but bringing a airhorn and blowing it yelling "buy me a fucking shot" in the bartenders face was a little uncalled for
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place
By the time we got to McDonald's you were sharing a Big Mac with a stripper.
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
Flight got cancelled. Stayed in the same hotel as the flight crew so now I can cross Sex with Pilot off the bucket list
He regularly flies into DC, so I’m going to sign him up for my Frequent Flyer program!
Randomize
