yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
He just reenacted his orgasm in front of my roommates....using a squeeze bottle of mayonnaise.
You just kept saying "they don't make cigarettes for squirrels. Yet."
well someone pooped in the lint basket in the laundry room last night, but none of us will admit to it so we're all just secretly judging each other and doubting ourselves.
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
No you usually just ranted about the voicemail bitch until she cut you off again
If I come home tho and find u passed out naked in my bed with the bottle of crown empty, we're gonna have issues.
I'm sorry, I can't help the fact that I like to sleep naked, and I like booze, together it looks bad, yes.
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
If I ever go to jail it will be because of you, I can feel it.
His dick's name has evolved from Sebastian to Big Daddy to Barbara Streisand to Barbara Walters. I think the transformation is finally complete.
If my life today were a movie the subtitle would be: Revenge of the Beer Shits
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