You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
Note to self. Champagne flavored lube is neither as tasty nor as classy as one might think.
I need to move out. I just walk of shamed my way into a family breakfast party. There's no response when grandma says "where you coming from in heels at 9AM?"
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
I can't wait for the 4th. I'll probably get drunk and end up puking all over whichever 18 year old I end up making out with.
I seriously think I got run over last night.. My sides are bruised and I got a ride home in the limo from the office.
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
I'll get you through man, I'll be your fairy godmother with better prescription drugs
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
I'm having a funeral for my vibrator. Please be there. I need your dick for support.
Crust to egg proportion prescribes to a pedantic form of quiche. It's like saying breakfast pizza isn't pizza at all.
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
Oh god...Did I just fuck a sugar granddaddy?!
it's like that time i was drunk at relay for life. but with balloon animals...
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
Randomize
