I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
Don't judge me. If you're going to fall off a bed you might as well do it gracefully into a bag full of beer.
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
If I don't end up being a booty call for Valentine's Day, you wanna go to the movies?
My sheer presence has sent the hipsters running in terror. I expect no problems.
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
i like beer, sex, and cooking. what more can he want?
It started with drunk jenga and ended with me simultaneously peeing and puking on his feet in the tub while he held me up. I met Tequila. I don't like her.
Randomize