Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
mrs. f**** your sons in jail, if you can help with bail please respond, if not please dont tell him i told you.
I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
so i just realized i am an alcoholic. I was making some tomato soup because im still sick, and put vodka in it. sad huh? lets go out!
We were making out when she went into convulsions. At least now I know she's allergic to peanuts.
bars should really give you discounts for bringing your own shot glass
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
He showed me one of his balls and said "this one's free. you'll have to work to see the other.."
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
All right, sex is off the menu for you. Now you just get friendship. So I can spend marginally less time being annoyed by you.
I don't care what the Chinese zodiac calendar says . . . 2015 is the year of the cock!
Accidentally searched up "pizza pasties" instead of "pizza pastries". I was not disappointed.
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
Randomize
