You just made me feel so damn special
Turns out he's not gay. He just didn't know how else to say he's not into me. He just hit on my sister.
Not even drunk me wanted to have sex with him. I kept intentionally hitting my head on the table behind me during sex till he said i was too drunk for sex.
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
Carson kissed me on my cold sore before I could stop him so I think I gave my kid herpes. Mom of the year. Just call me MOTY.
I've got a 90 day supply of amoxicillin in case of zombie or chlamydia outbreak
You kept trying to make cocktails with my protein powder last night...
It's like everybody loves Raymond but the total opposite and everyone wants him to die
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
We lost. I'mma go home and drink more and do a face mask and wonder why it is that god put me on this Earth to suffer
the fact that I've been his fuck buddy for a year, and I'm pregnant isn't bothering me. the fact that he didn't tell me about his girlfriend does.
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
After we finish having sex, he smokes an honest to God pipe. It's like fucking a big, sexy Sherlock Holmes...
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