coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
Christ, I really took the slutcake last night.
Wait. Someome brought slutcake?
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
I can't feel my tongue. And that means go. Green means go. And you know what Barney says. Green means go and woah means no. DRIIIIINKK
My stalker sent me an erotic poem. Who knew anyone could find a way to rhyme birth and girth so eloquently?
I'm tripping balls on ambien right now and I still feel that's a bad idea.
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
So that prostitue I banged at Steve's bachelor party just texted and invited me to a BBQ at her parents. Never again doubt the power of the cock piercing.
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
Today I learned I and my bar naps were the subject of a bar meeting.
"can you come pick me up from the ikea parking garage i think i slept here"
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
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