someone is gonna have my baby tonight. they just dont know it yet
I'll alert the authorities
I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
I'm at the gas station where we got beef jerky and condoms. The fact that those two are in the same sentence makes me love you more.
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
Dude we both faced 40s of steel reserve which is like saying, "Hey, I'm a complete piece of shit!"
But I'm a half a mile from my bed. And I have the hiccups. I hate hiccups.
Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
You've lost booty call privileges between the hours of 10pm and 8am.
Got a $290 noise violation last night for shouting "THE KING OF THE NORTH" til 2 am
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
I think I accidentally got a sugar daddy but I was already planning on sleeping with him so I’m going to see where this goes
Randomize
