I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
I wonder if I could sublet my bathtub to anyone.
So he told me he wanted to fertilize my caviar. Im avoiding all foreign exchange students from now on.
We were on the balcony tossing jello shots to people passing below
When people said no i'd yell "i tried them i promise they aren't roofied!"
I accidently showed a girl my balls already today. Made me think of you.
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
We haven't been trashed enough to shut down a bar together in four days. I'm starting to worry that we're growing apart.
Doing 9 month old dishes in my bath tub. These dishes literally had enough time to gestate a human child
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
Its nights like last night that make me want to high five my liver.
Pro: 2020 made it easier to hook up with strippers
Con: explaining to Kari why there’s always strippers at our house
Pro: there’s always strippers at our house
Randomize
