help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
I want to touch your soul through your body...with my penis...
Mike i'm at church right now...
Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
That makes 14 Xmas cards already! Middle aged people are really nice to their dealers.
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
Dollars spent: $83, Girls kissed: 4, Girls slept with:2, Girls currently making me breakfast: 1, Fucks given: 0
Did I wash my face last night at your house? Where did my eyebrows go??
Im showing up stoned and in sweatpants. Because that is where im at in life right now. Sorry not sorry.
Randomize
