I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
I have been standing totally still for the past 6 minutes because I was convinced my foot was tied to the ground. It turns out it was a string of hair strewn across my foot
i'm gonna start putting 34DD under other qualifications on my bartender applications and see if that helps
not only did i climb through the window at 4 am but here i am 4 hours later for my interview at the mall and i'm staring in the dark pet store barking at puppies
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
They invited me day drinking but brought their kids. 3 two year olds and 1 11 month old. I was asked to change a diaper, I laughed and took another drink of this margarita. I LIKE CHANEL AND TEQUILA NOT CHILDREN. Can we make new friends?
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
I will have you again some day my love. And our divorce will be magnificent
Did I tell you I bit someone's arm for you last night
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
I lose my morals, my dignity, and my selfie stick :(
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
Randomize
