"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
I may or may not have started my period at the bar. Good thing I have dark jeans on.
i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
The fire department told the police that I was inside the burning building trying to pee in the rest of the electrical Outlets. Booyaka.
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
I can't wait to see you again...not a euphemism, just really looking forward to seeing you. Wanting to fuck you as often as possible just seems implied at this point.
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
I got so drunk that I peed my bed...and all over him. The ironic thing is that he slept in his swimming trunks.
Pretty sure one of my drivers stopped to get laid while he was delivering a pizza. Is it appropriate to give him a write-up AND a high-five?
went out to hit golf balls, ended up doing splits at the bar. you're a bad influence.
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
Randomize
