Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
here I sit at Southern Illinois' finest pubs and I thought I heard your laugh. I was sadly astonished to turn and find a midget cracking herself up reading the label on her can of chewing tobacco...
We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
Man, the last time I saw you you were giving me a thumbs up while being pulled out the bar by your belt from some girl.
i think i had a heart attack, prayed, and jizzed my pants.all at once.
Let me just say....i'm sorry about setting your carpet on fire. I had no idea that the paper towel would burn that quickly.
Just warning you now f you do not get intoxicated with me in front of the family on thanksgiving we are not related.
College: when you have to set an alarm to start drinking
At one point I was giving him a handjob and I started singing Call Me Maybe
We tried to make ramen in a glass bowl on the stove. They called facilities to pick the glass out of the door
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
You both snapchatted me that. Like, I just got a double dose of penis pastry.
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