Do you realize that we tried to rent a limo at 5am to come and take us to waffle house?
can't come out tonight. went to the bar again last night and the bartender hugged and thanked me so much for my "generosity." I'm intrigued but terrified to see my credit card bill.
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
Definitely just put my car on cruise control so I could stick my head out of the sunroof while driving to taco bell.
Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
I am truly sorry that you have to put your dog down. He was a great dog, and a great friend. I am still not showing you my tits.
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
He stuck a cigarette in my butt last night. There is no coming back from that.
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
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