mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
Lesson of the night- sweaty dick can get stuck to ice, and require medical attention.
I almost tried texting you with my pipe. Holy fuck this is good shit.
I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
How the fuck do you get a noise complaint filed against you at 9:30am on a fucking Tuesday?
Btw, remind me to tell you about how I had to cancel my crazy wild sex plans with Will b/c my roommate came back from his trip after a day b/c Canada wouldn't let him in. Fucking cockblock.
Actually that's the whole story. You don't have to remind me.
I accidentally sent a snap of my puss with the Republican filter... Totally killed his boner
Shut the fuck up! I can hear you having sex over Pirates of the Caribbean you moaning whore.
Hey. You dropped and smashed your road beer in my store last night. Again. And this time you didn't even order anything. You just walked in, yelled "SWEDISH STYLE!" Then lost your beer, looked depressed, and left.
She turned off her phone alarm (which was the theme song to Star Wars) and then asked me if I wanted a blow job before she went...of course I am going to see her again.
She'd probably like you more if you'd stop fucking her husband.
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
I’ve officially bought the ticket for my future dick appointment 😂
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