Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
i just got cockblocked by a guy drinking wine straight out of the bottle with a straw...
the fact that i fell through a skylight is the least humiliating part of the night
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
Is percocet and coffee considered a balanced breakfast?
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
I just watched a stripper purchase $43 of Rockstar and corn nuts. Godamnit! We need helmet cams.
My gynecologist just said "don't worry, this won't be as hard as…well…" A FUCKING SEX JOKE NO
it was one of those unspoken contracts of silence like "I teach your daughter and you work at a strip club"...I don't tell if you don't
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
I woke up with leftover chocolate syrup on my nipples. WTF happened last night??
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
Randomize
