just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
I'm not crazy, I only keep calling you cause you won't pick up.
i can hardly tell the difference between falling asleep and passing out anymore
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
I Just paid off the bartender to help me convince this chic my roommate's gay. This is the best cockblock ever.
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
that freshman chick we always see on the weekends walked into art class wearing a jaegermeister shirt and holding a monster, which she proceeded to shotgun with a pair of scissors. It sickens me to know I will never achieve her level
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
That rando I gave head to on the beach just endorsed me on LinkedIn for Oral Communication Skills. So there's that.
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
I jammed my finger giving him a hand job. Don't ask how, I'm still trying to figure that out.
I was just giving a mobile app demo to a client, on my iPhone, when a reminder alert appeared across the page blinking "12pm: go home and give John head". You're an asshole
Hahaha oops.
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
Randomize
