this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
I'm sorry. We set two Christmas trees on fire. Also the neighbor's yard. Also ours.
I may or may not be taking a bath listening to the Phantom of the Opera. This lovely moment brought to you by xanax.
All right cuz right now I'm in one of those moods where the shear thought of doing anything more strenuous than making a sandwich has me wanting to curl up in the feeble position and splash around in a puddle of my own tears.
that's the best thing i've ever said to a penis
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
I look like a bag of dicks so if you could ugly yourself up that'd be great.
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
They just made me take another shot and I found out the liquor store next to my brothers house has a petting zoo
Mind. Blown.
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
Randomize
