i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
I just found 3 condoms in my math textbook... in the probability section... Under dependent and independent events...
like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
I woke up this morning with a pop tart under my pillow with one bite eaten. Another pop tart was in the floor. No recollection whatsoever. I ate the one under my pillow for breakfast, though.
I am in a hotel room with 10 people. John is in bed eating an industrial sized pan of mashed potatoes. I think a non insignificant number of people saw my nipples.
I bought emergency contraception until I / we decide how to handle that. And target gave me a gift receipt for it. Awkward.
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
Randomize
