In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
He called me a "functional alcoholic" like its a bad thing.
He just gave a drunken 7 minute speech on how to make the perfect grilled cheese. he explained types of butter and cheeses....i think i love him
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
Dude he was freaking out because he thought he was walking on crates, and he just kept saying help me
My drunk neighbor is arguing with a goose in his yard. This was the highlight of my day.
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
Who are you, and why are you in my phone as Elf on the Shelf
Got paid 100 bucks to babysit a kid for five hours while hungover. I slept the whole time and threw up twice. Yes 100 bucks.
I lost all interest the day she banged that guy in the Amazon parking lot. That's a special kinda whore.
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
please don't ironically join a cult
Randomize
